How to stop working so much and become more personable with others

If you struggle with being more personable with others, it's possible that you are naturally a more task- oriented person. Two out of the four personality types profiled by the Christian DISC® are task oriented, (rather than people-oriented). This isn't a bad thing, just a natural inclination that has its strengths and weaknesses (or areas to grow). 

Task-oriented people are often seen as efficient and productive, but can sometimes struggle in building and maintaining relationships with others. Being focused on tasks and results can sometimes cause task-oriented individuals to overlook the importance of developing personal relationships with others, which can lead to a lack of connection and communication in both their personal and professional lives.
If you are a task-oriented person who wants to become more personable, relational, and people-oriented, there are several steps you can take to develop these skills:

1. Build self-awareness: Start by becoming more aware of your own behavior and personality. Consider how your focus on tasks may impact your ability to build relationships with others. Using spiritual disciplines such as prayer, reflection, and introspection can not only help you deepen your spiritual life, but also build self-awareness and understanding about how God has wired you. Using a spiritual assessment like the Christian DISC® can also be a good starting point.
   
   
2. Prioritize relationships: Make a conscious effort to prioritize building relationships with others. Set aside time to take breaks from work and connect with others. Small talk might seem pointless, but it's an important opportunity to ask about others' interests and opinions, and listen actively to what they have to say. Start by looking to your existing community. For example, are there any ways to get more involved at church? 
   
   
3. Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in others' shoes and consider their perspective when interacting with them. This can help you to develop greater understanding and empathy, and to build stronger connections with others. This is valuable not just because it helps build more people-oriented skills, but because it's Christlike and is the way Jesus interacted with others in compassion. Empathy is a skill that takes time to develop, so be gentle with yourself as you continue to learn to interact with others.
   
   
4. Develop active listening skills: Practice active listening, which involves paying close attention to what others are saying and asking questions to clarify their meaning. Truly attend to what the person is saying rather than thinking about your next response. This can help you to build deeper connections with others and demonstrates your earnest interest in them. People love talking about themselves and many task-oriented people actually find that it's easier than they thought to keep the focus on others. 
   
   
5. Focus on collaboration: Consider how you can work collaboratively with others, rather than focusing solely on your own tasks and goals. This can help you to develop a greater appreciation for others' strengths and contributions, and to build stronger relationships as a result. Volunteering at church or at a local non-profit can actually combine your skills as a task-oriented person with the ability to connect and collaborate with others in the process.
   
   
6. Seek feedback: Finally, seek feedback from others on how you can become more personable, relational, and people-oriented. This can help you to identify areas for improvement and to develop a plan for further growth and development. Is there a pastor, leader, or mentor you talk with regularly? Consider seeing a counselor or coach who can also help you in these areas.
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Becoming more personable, relational, and people-oriented is a valuable skill for task-oriented individuals to develop. By building self-awareness, prioritizing relationships, practicing empathy, developing active listening skills, focusing on collaboration, and seeking feedback, you can become more effective in building and maintaining strong, positive relationships with others. It's what Jesus did. These skills are not only beneficial for your personal and professional life, but it can help you deepen your spiritual life as well and improve your overall wellbeing.